How to Get Out of Fight or Flight in 5 Minutes

You know that moment.

Your teen asks "what's for dinner?" for the fourth time. Someone can't find their shoes. Your phone buzzes with another school email. And suddenly you're not a calm, capable human anymore.

You're a fire-breathing dragon.

Snapping. Seething. Wondering why you can't just hold it together like everyone else seems to.

And then five minutes later? You're hiding in the pantry, stress-eating a Tim Tam, feeling guilty about the dragon moment and desperately googling "how to get out of fight or flight."

Sound familiar?

Yeah. I thought so.

You're not a bad mum. You're not "too emotional" or "overreacting."

Your nervous system is just absolutely cooked.

And that meditation app you downloaded six months ago (and used twice)? It's not going to fix this.

Let me show you what actually works.

Why "Just Breathe" Doesn't Cut It When You're Fried

Here's what nobody tells you about fight or flight mode:

When your nervous system is activated, your brain literally can't access the calm, rational part of itself. It's too busy scanning for threats. Even if that "threat" is just your teenager's eye roll.

So when someone says "just take a deep breath" or "try to relax"... your body genuinely can't comply. It's like asking a smoke alarm to politely stop beeping while the toast is still on fire.

This isn't a mindset issue. It's a nervous system issue.

The good news? Your body has a built-in off-switch. You just need to know how to flip it.

These techniques work because they use your body to send direct safety signals to your brain. No app required. No 20-minute guided meditation while someone yells "MUM!" from the other room.

Just fast, no-fluff tools you can use in the pantry, the car, or the bathroom with the door locked.

5 Ways to Get Out of Fight or Flight in Under 5 Minutes

1. The Long Exhale (AKA: The Dragon Tamer)

This is your new best friend.

When you're stressed, your inhales get longer and your exhales get shorter. Flipping this ratio tells your nervous system: "We're safe. Stand down."

How to do it:

• Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts
• Hold for 2 counts
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 counts
• Repeat 5-6 times

The extended exhale stimulates your vagus nerve: your body's main calming pathway. Think of it as hitting the brakes on the fire-breathing dragon.

You can do this while unloading the dishwasher, sitting in school pickup, or standing in the pantry pretending to look for something.

2. The Cold Water Reset

This one sounds weird but works ridiculously fast.

Splashing cold water on your face (or holding something cold against your cheeks and neck) triggers what's called the "mammalian dive reflex." Fancy name, simple result: your heart rate drops almost instantly.

How to do it:

• Splash cold water on your face
• Or hold an ice pack / cold can / bag of frozen peas to your cheeks and neck
• 30 seconds is enough

This is perfect for the moment right before you lose it. Step into the bathroom, splash, breathe, return as a human instead of a dragon.

3. Hum, Gargle, or Chant (Vagus Nerve Hack)

Your vagus nerve runs right past the back of your throat. Vibrations there? Instant calming signal.

How to do it:

• Hum a tune (even just "mmmm") for 30 seconds
• Gargle water loudly for 10-15 seconds
• Or chant "om" if that's your vibe (no judgement)

I personally go with aggressive gargling in the bathroom. It's weird. It works. My teens think I've lost the plot. Worth it.

This is one of the easiest vagus nerve exercises you can do: and it takes less than a minute.

4. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

When you're spiralling, your brain is time-travelling. Worrying about tomorrow. Replaying what happened earlier. Catastrophising about everything.

Grounding brings you back to right now. And right now? You're actually okay.

How to do it:

• Name 5 things you can see
• Name 4 things you can touch
• Name 3 things you can hear
• Name 2 things you can smell
• Name 1 thing you can taste

This is one of the most effective grounding techniques for anxiety because it forces your brain out of panic mode and back into the present moment.

Pro tip: Do this one out loud if you can. Even whispering it helps.

5. Squeeze and Release

Sometimes you need to physically move the stress out of your body.

Fight or flight floods you with adrenaline. If you don't discharge it, it just... sits there. Making you jittery, irritable, and ready to snap at the next person who breathes too loudly.

How to do it:

• Squeeze your hands into tight fists for 5 seconds
• Release and shake them out
• Rub your hands down your thighs a few times
• Roll your shoulders back and drop them
• Repeat if needed

This is nervous system regulation in action. You're telling your body: "The threat is over. We can stand down now."

Why These Work (When Everything Else Hasn't)

Most advice out there: bubble baths, journaling, "me time": is designed for a regulated nervous system.

But when you're running on empty, constantly in survival mode, your body doesn't know how to receive rest. It's still braced for the next thing.

These breathing exercises for anxiety and body-based tools work because they bypass your thinking brain entirely. They speak directly to your nervous system in a language it understands.

No willpower required. No finding 30 minutes of quiet time (ha). Just quick, evidence-based tools that actually shift your state.

What If You Want More Than Just Survival Mode?

Look, these techniques are brilliant for the acute moments. The "about to lose it" moments. The pantry moments.

But if you're hitting that wall every single day?

You need more than band-aids.

That's exactly why I created The Calm Your Farm Toolkit.

It's a collection of fast, practical nervous system tools designed specifically for mums who are:

• Snapping by 3pm
• Exhausted but wired
• Carrying the mental load of everyone
• Hiding in the pantry more than they'd like to admit

These aren't fluff tools. They're the same strategies I use as an Occupational Therapist: packaged for real life with tweens, teens, and zero spare time.

➔ Quick resets you can do anywhere
➔ Tools that actually work when you're already activated
➔ Permission to stop white-knuckling your way through motherhood

Grab The Calm Your Farm Toolkit here and start coming out of the pantry as a human, not a dragon.

The Bottom Line

You don't need to meditate for 20 minutes.
You don't need a weekend retreat.
You don't need to "just try harder."

You need 5 minutes and tools that actually work for a fried nervous system.

Start with the long exhale. Try the cold water trick. Gargle like your sanity depends on it (because some days, it does).

And when you're ready for more? The Toolkit is waiting.

You've held it together long enough, mama. Time to actually feel okay.

Hayley x